Stabs At Happiness

Well.
Today wasn't that bad.

Surprisingly.

I got both of my Media mock ups done.

And once again I've got a dictaphone from college.

Which they won't get back for ages.

Because I don't remember to take it back.

And all that panicking last week about English coursework was very unneccessary.

I wish to have the house to myself for longer to be honest.

I'm enjoying it.

Meal tonight.

I'm rather excited.

Plus I'm starving.

I may wear red lipstick.

However if I look like a tart, I won't.

Because it's only a meal.

I'll save the tart image for another occasion.

I made a decision on the bus today.

My life is about me.

And I should stop making it about every other fucker that buggers me around.

Because that's why I get depressed.

NO MORE.

I'm going to be selfish.

And make everything about me for a while.

And the few that actually matter.

Thanks.

I may consider becoming a bitch.

Maybe not.

That's perhaps a bit drastic.

Drastic Shmastic.

Money For Nothing

Is £60 really going to be enough?

I hope so.

Because I spend.

It's what I do.

Also, feeling guilty again.

For something I didn't do.

Brilliant.

I can't decifer people anymore.
I can't understand why this recent string of events has been so shitty.
I suppose I've caused them.

In some senses.

But other people triggered them.

I just went along with things.
Probably when I shouldn't have.

I hate this season.

I recon that I possibly have Seasonal Affective Disorder.

I thought this last year.

But the Doctor was a first class bollock about it.

And the treatment?

Really expensive light boxes.

I wish I had more plans for this short period of free house.

Though making plans these days seems to be much more difficult than it should be.

I seem to do very little these days.

It's depressing.

To conclude; dry spells are shit.

Getting fucked over is worse.

Thankyou goodnight.

Looking Like A Beautiful Day

Well.

It's a blog.

Today has been average.

However it's gotten shit.

I have a wonderful knack of pissing people off without intending to or even realising I'm doing it.

And also, starting to wonder if I can do anything right.

Because at the moment, I don't seem to be able to.

Cannot please anyone.

And those I do?

Just in it for the ride.

October.

And the beginning of November have been utterly shit.

Thanks Autumn.

You're really getting me down.

Hooray for a depressing first blog.