London Calling, Yes I Was There Too

I want to go back to London.
It was really really good.
I've always said I'd hate to live there.
But I don't think I would.

I just couldn't live there forever.

I'm done with college.

No more.

Exams are finished.

I'm trying so very hard to get the Cornwall road trip to go ahead.
Though it's proving difficult.

But, I want it to happen.

As I have nothing to do this summer.

I'm ready to take my driving test.
Nervous.
But excited at the thought of passing.

I don't have much to say, again.
I just want to show some London photos.

I miss these leggings. No one would let me buy them.

Hali and I in Hyde Park.

Lollipops in Harrods.

Hali and I outside Oxford Street Primark.

VERY expensive D&G handbags in Harrods.

I own a similar one from Primark that was £8.

Hali and I outside Buckingham Palace.

Shake It Like A Ladder To The Sun

Evening.

A lot has happened but I feel I have little to say.

It's simple really.

I found Hali.

Though it felt like he found me.

We clicked.

We more than clicked.

And I have genuinely never been happier.

We just match.

I mean really match.

This one's a keeper.

Uni accepted me.

Unconditionally.

Which is pretty good.

And I'm getting sick of college in the excitement for starting uni.

Only 4 more weeks.

I think.

Though, I have Tuesday's off as I'm finished Media.

Big improvement on the week.

Makes it a little more manageable.

I have a new bed.

A king size one.

And a new carpet.

A brown one.

Both equally as beautiful.

Though the bed, my God, is ridiculously comfortable.

I had my birthday.

It didn't feel much like one.

Due to me being unbelieveably ill over Easter.

Chest infection (still need to finish anti-biotics).

Violent sickness.

And in the process managed to collapse and knock myself out on the sink.

That resulted in post concussion syndrome.

So I had to postpone my party.

Which was on Friday and was jubbly.

I got my new camera, when me and Hali went to Edinburgh.

That was a good break.

We went to the zoo.

And I loved it.

But yeah.

The camera.

What a BEAUT.

It's a Canon 50D.

The mark up from the one I wanted.

I got an 8BG memory card.

A standard lense.

A Tamron zoom lense.

And a bag.

We're talking well over £1,000.

VERY grateful to my Grandparents.

I'm trying stupidly hard to get a job.

I've applied for all the one's I've seen that I'm capable of and can get to.

But not one of them has had the sodding decency to get back to me.

Even to say 'No we don't want you'.

Despite that, everything's looking up Milhouse.

I actually have my life on track.

I have my tattoo finished, and getting more soon.

I have a phenomenal boyfriend.

I'm actually managing to cope with education.

I've passed my theory test.

Everything's pretty cushty.

And I'm loving it.

Open The Door And Pulling Me In

Well I'm back from Scotland.

Was there 4 days.

It was average.

It was Gran's 71st on Saturday.

The fancy meal was expensive, and the waiters had odd accents; a mixture of Italian and Scottish.

He took our photograph.

I've come to the conclusion that I should stop feeling sorry for myself.

Most people my age want something casual.

It's not the end of the world.

But.

I want something more.

Urgh.

Picky picky.

Need to get away again.

Need to go see Matthew.

And sleep on his floor.

As a side note.

College finance office women?

Bitches.

College work?

Fucking me off.

A good week in all.

Look At Us We're Beautiful

Well.

The album version of Moby's 'Lift Me Up' is different to the one I previously had.

Only ever so slightly.

But it's noticeable.

I'm not sure which I prefer.

And I think I dislike it when Moby uses female vocalists that aren't samples.

a) because it's not a very Moby sound and b) because he choses crap singers.

December was a strange month.

I think I'd have to look in my diary to remember the first half though.

Not a pour-your-heart-out diary.

An appointment-at-6pm kind of diary.

But from the 19th onwards has been eventful.

What with Martin and stuff.

Though we're still not official.

Not sure what's happening with that to be honest..

Christmas was an average wintery day, except with presents in the morning.

Diamond ring and a 'Charli' necklace.

Very impressed.

Oh and some books.

Of photography.

A big bastard of a Vanity Fair portraits book has kept me entertained.

New Year was an average night out, except with fireworks.

It was a lot colder than last year.
And less exciting.

I've discovered I really suit purple.

A rather pleasant discovery.

I need to start taking photos.

I'm getting very unmotivated to do so.

Which isn't a good sign in all honesty.

I suppose it's because I don't have a niche yet.

I don't know what to take photos of.

I also desperately need to get my tattoo finished.

I'm sick of the biro look it has going.

Though Matthew prefers that to the shading.

I need more.

I need more ideas.

I don't know where I want them.

All I know is I want them.

You see people with amazing tattoos.

And you wonder where they got the idea from?

A picture?

The internet?

Drawn by themselves?

Drawn by someone else?

I just need the inspiration.

I need inspiring for a lot of things at the moment.
Especially college.

Rant Rant Rant Rant Rant.

Stabs At Happiness

Well.
Today wasn't that bad.

Surprisingly.

I got both of my Media mock ups done.

And once again I've got a dictaphone from college.

Which they won't get back for ages.

Because I don't remember to take it back.

And all that panicking last week about English coursework was very unneccessary.

I wish to have the house to myself for longer to be honest.

I'm enjoying it.

Meal tonight.

I'm rather excited.

Plus I'm starving.

I may wear red lipstick.

However if I look like a tart, I won't.

Because it's only a meal.

I'll save the tart image for another occasion.

I made a decision on the bus today.

My life is about me.

And I should stop making it about every other fucker that buggers me around.

Because that's why I get depressed.

NO MORE.

I'm going to be selfish.

And make everything about me for a while.

And the few that actually matter.

Thanks.

I may consider becoming a bitch.

Maybe not.

That's perhaps a bit drastic.

Drastic Shmastic.

Money For Nothing

Is £60 really going to be enough?

I hope so.

Because I spend.

It's what I do.

Also, feeling guilty again.

For something I didn't do.

Brilliant.

I can't decifer people anymore.
I can't understand why this recent string of events has been so shitty.
I suppose I've caused them.

In some senses.

But other people triggered them.

I just went along with things.
Probably when I shouldn't have.

I hate this season.

I recon that I possibly have Seasonal Affective Disorder.

I thought this last year.

But the Doctor was a first class bollock about it.

And the treatment?

Really expensive light boxes.

I wish I had more plans for this short period of free house.

Though making plans these days seems to be much more difficult than it should be.

I seem to do very little these days.

It's depressing.

To conclude; dry spells are shit.

Getting fucked over is worse.

Thankyou goodnight.

Looking Like A Beautiful Day

Well.

It's a blog.

Today has been average.

However it's gotten shit.

I have a wonderful knack of pissing people off without intending to or even realising I'm doing it.

And also, starting to wonder if I can do anything right.

Because at the moment, I don't seem to be able to.

Cannot please anyone.

And those I do?

Just in it for the ride.

October.

And the beginning of November have been utterly shit.

Thanks Autumn.

You're really getting me down.

Hooray for a depressing first blog.